Doubts ....

Says the cap on my wise bottle of green tea yesterday...

Wednesday.

I am sometimes at a loss as to what to write here anymore.

Clearly, you all know what I am all about and the common

themes I have been fostering for over a decade now.

It seems to have reached its zenith.

I mean, to be fair... how many times can I write about

what is now our reality?

I saw it coming, it came and now- while we are in the 

shadow of the destruction of friendships, families,

our health, our education system, our communities

I see nothing but resistance to healing.

Not one person who bought into the created mess

will give a quarter to forgiveness, building

 bridges or admitting they may have been wrong.

Not one...out of hundreds of people in my personal circle.

It was planned to be like this...

All by design.

I told you.

I told you to lean into your spirituality.

I told you to watch your health & how to do that.

I counselled you on being kind and not getting pulled into

narratives that were created to harm.

Be the light.

I prayed for you.

Here I sit, feeling a bit underwhelmed by 

folks and wondering if the time and attention was all worth it.

I get lurkers, ya know the people who unfriended and blocked me, who

still talk crap behind my back yet can't stop reading about my life here.

I lost many people over the past 5 years.

Was it the move or was it something else?

Was it that people assumed a whole lot of things?

Was it that the narrative they wanted to have of me did not fit

their new * awoken* ways of living.

So I ( who have not changed in my views a bit over the course of my life

I am, after all, a Taurus) was judged by new standards dictated

by TikTok and nasty Karens who point fingers and screamed *witch*.

Fine.

It turned out for the best in most of those cases.

I do not want to be associated with unforgiving, unkind,

immoral and self righteous individuals.

They will be served their comeuppance ..as life always does.

That may be the end of that story for me.

So...

Time to move to another platform?

Time to evolve into a different kind of blog?

I do not know.

I just was just here all those years ago, figuring out life each day.

But the ugliness of the world seeped in, and now it has been tarnished.

So yeah....

I am not sad, I am not hopeless because I know that God has an incredible

story still to be written for me. That I am still engaged in on a deeper level.

I have been thriving and learning and growing still, quietly.

I am also happy.

I live a life of mostly peaceful beauty that I could never ever have envisioned

for myself. My pride is in the fact that I am in a place of existence 

that would make my parents, my grands all satisfied for the future of our family.

Lecturing me , vilifying me, holding my love hostage , making me your

personal demon will never work because truth is truth.

And so I sit here...evolving as I do, hitting walls

with a blog that I loved writing.

Is this the natural end of this?

I have stayed my moral, earthy self yet I no longer belong.